It's My Birthday...And I'll CRY If I Want To

I haven't enjoyed my birthday for more than 20 years now...I have my reasons.  But, with the single exception of the year I turned twenty, those birthdays that ended with a "zero" have always held a "special" dread in my heart.  And this year, I reach the ripe old age of 60.  I'll say that again...60! Oh, the horror!  To paraphrase Dylan Thomas, I am not going "gentle" into my so-called golden years.

The funny thing is...I don't remember getting this old.  I just woke up one day and - POOF - here I was. And I've heard all the well-meaning wishes and popular platitudes:  "You're only as old as you feel," "Age is only a number," "It's better than the alternative," "Your best years are ahead of you," etc.  I know people mean well but, in all honesty, these sentiments do not comfort me.  Oh, how I wish they did.

I guess, when all is said and done, I have become a walking, talking "cliche."  I have morphed into another of those aging "crones" who has begun to question her mortality, who realizes that she has fewer days in front of her than she left behind her, who has seen so many of the hopes and dreams of her youth wither and turn to dust to be vaporized with each passing year.  It truly sucks...this getting old.

It wasn't until recently that I really listened to the words of the following song, and it struck a particular chord with me.  I'm certain that countless others feel the same way.  I know that Susan Boyle turned "I Dreamed A Dream" into her personal anthem...of sorts, but I love this version sung by the cast of "Glee."  It is a little different slant on the song in that it is sung by Rachel (Lea Michele) and the mother (Idina Menzel) who gave her up for adoption at birth.  It all washes out the same in the end, however; "now life has killed the dream I dreamed."