I haven't enjoyed my birthday for more than 20 years now...I have my reasons. But, with the single exception of the year I turned twenty, those birthdays that ended with a "zero" have always held a "special" dread in my heart. And this year, I reach the ripe old age of 60. I'll say that again...60! Oh, the horror! To paraphrase Dylan Thomas, I am not going "gentle" into my so-called golden years.
The funny thing is...I don't remember getting this old. I just woke up one day and - POOF - here I was. And I've heard all the well-meaning wishes and popular platitudes: "You're only as old as you feel," "Age is only a number," "It's better than the alternative," "Your best years are ahead of you," etc. I know people mean well but, in all honesty, these sentiments do not comfort me. Oh, how I wish they did.
I guess, when all is said and done, I have become a walking, talking "cliche." I have morphed into another of those aging "crones" who has begun to question her mortality, who realizes that she has fewer days in front of her than she left behind her, who has seen so many of the hopes and dreams of her youth wither and turn to dust to be vaporized with each passing year. It truly sucks...this getting old.
It wasn't until recently that I really listened to the words of the following song, and it struck a particular chord with me. I'm certain that countless others feel the same way. I know that Susan Boyle turned "I Dreamed A Dream" into her personal anthem...of sorts, but I love this version sung by the cast of "Glee." It is a little different slant on the song in that it is sung by Rachel (Lea Michele) and the mother (Idina Menzel) who gave her up for adoption at birth. It all washes out the same in the end, however; "now life has killed the dream I dreamed."
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5 comments:
**hApPy**bIrThDay** - try to enjoy your special day and new decade and I wish you all the very best today and always
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I guess I'm like you about birthdays - always used to look forward to the day after. Trouble is my children never let me get away with doing nothing and I have a twin brother so I am really not allowed to forget it... and I have 17 months on you!!!
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That was a beautiful version of I Dreamed a Dream - have you seen the show? Les Miserables really is amazing.
Keep well and keep smiling
lotsa luv ann x0x0x0x
Hi Ann, and thank you. Yes, I always look forward to the day AFTER my birthday as well. My friend, Ralph, came into town today and took me to lunch and a movie and out for a drink afterwards. And I heard from lots of friends via phone, texts, and Facebook, so -- all in all -- it wasn't a bad day.
And I just got a phone call from my nephew and his two daughters (7 and 4) who sang their own particular version of Happy Birthday to me...very cute. So, it wasn't such a horribly, terribly awful day after all. LOL
I have not seen Les Miserables yet, but I believe it will be in town this coming season. Have heard nothing but wonderful things about it and am going to try to see it while it plays here.
Thanks again, Ann. It is always so good to hear from you.
I gave up having birthdays some time ago, on account of I suddenly discovered I was getting increasingly O L D - I still have NO idea how this happened; last time I looked, I think I was around 25....
I'm glad your day didn't turn out too bad anyway.
You see, Diane, I TRIED to give up on having birthdays years ago, but the folks around me won't let me forget. LOL Their hearts are in the right place, I suppose.
A very belated Happy Birthday I'm afraid..hopefully from this distance you can accept it :)
I feel 18 still..it's my body that tells me otherwise..well, that and the kids that are now bigger than me
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