Monday, January 11, 2010

Mad As Hell And Not Going To Take It Anymore

Some of you "old timers," like me, may recognize the title and the attached scene from the 1976 movie called "Network." I had not seen it since I watched the film originally all those many years ago, but I have been "feeling" it for a while now. It has, in fact, been festering below the surface for several months and has now bubbled to the surface and shall now unleash itself in a good old fashioned "rant." So, grab hold of your panties, Granny, I'm gonna let loose.

Let's start with the video and Peter Finch's classic scene:



It's amazing how so many of the "issues" of the day in 1976 are still evident...if not more prominent...today. He talks about things being "bad," about being in the midst of a depression, everybody's out of work, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter for protection, punks are running wild in the street, violence is rampant, everything is crazy and people are afraid to go out anymore. Sound familiar? Thirty-four years and not a lot has changed.

I hate to say it, but I have slowly morphed into that person he describes. The one who doesn't go out anymore, preferring instead the sanctuary of her living room and just wants to be left alone. The main difference is, I'm not truly "afraid" to go out, it's that every time I do venture out, I invariably encounter some obnoxious asshole whose sole purpose in life...it would seem...is to steal my joy.

My most recent example occurred the Sunday after Christmas. My friend Ralph and my godson, Nathaniel, came down to spend the day with me, and we ended up at a sports bar to eat and drink and watch the Bengals/Chiefs game. Before I go on, let me explain one thing: I have a very simple code or creed by which I live and that is, "live and let live." I don't want to hurt or be a bother to anyone and conversely, I expect the same consideration from my fellow man/woman in return.

Back to my story. Half time arrived, and I took advantage of the break to make a badly needed trip to the powder room. When I was ready to go back to the table, I opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. There were a couple of men standing outside the men's room next door, but I didn't really pay that much attention to them. I had started down the hallway...when it happened. I mean, I'm minding my own business...not bothering anyone...when one of the men yells down the hall to a man in front of me, "Hey, Mark. Not her."

Now, I have no way of knowing what these guys had been talking about before I emerged from the restroom, but whatever it was, obviously I was not the "vision" they had anticipated exiting the little girl's room. Okay, no problem, as I recall they did not exactly get my juices flowing either...if you know what I mean. But the guy did not have to "bellow" his disappointment down the hall...like I was deaf, you know? I can still hear the disdain in his voice.

And that was my moment. The moment I decided, "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore." So, I stopped dead in my tracks, turned around, looked the shallow bastard in the eye, said,
"F--k you," then turned back around and found my way back to my table. One of these days, I'm going to end up dead, but I don't care. I hate RUDE. There is no excuse for it.

Roseanne was right, you know? The most memorable line from that show for me came in the fifth season when Roseanne confronts Fisher, Jackie's soon-to-be ex-boyfriend (he beat her up), and says to him, "I consider myself to be a good judge of people, and that's why I don't like none of 'em." I hear ya, Roseanne.

Anyway, so as each day, week, month goes by, I find myself becoming more and more reclusive. I go to work and I come home. I order a lot of stuff through QVC, eBay, and Amazon.com, so I don't have to go shopping unless I want to. Actually, I rather enjoy the fact that I can order things via the Internet and a few days later they are delivered to my door. I do make the occasional trip to the grocery store and drug store, etc. But by and large, I am content to stay home. I have an iPod, a Blackberry, two TVs, four -- yes, I said four -- computers, and myriad books and DVDs to keep me entertained. I keep in touch with family and friends via emails and long telephone conversations, and I have my blog.

I have made some wonderful friends through blogging, but...as with everything else...there is always someone out there determined to steal my joy...if I let them. For example, this past Thursday, I received an "anonymous" comment from someone. It started out nice enough, I suppose, as the "person" told me my blog just kept getting better and better and then went on to say...wait for it...my older posts were not as good as the newer ones. Talk about your backhanded compliment. LOL Isn't that rather like saying to someone that their children are well-behaved...it's a shame they're so ugly.

Anyway, I deleted the comment. So sue me, I took offense. The result? Well, the next day, "anonymous" sent me another comment...a link to a porno site. (Now that's a mature reaction, don't you think?) At least that is what the message said...I didn't check it out...I merely deleted it. And that, my friends, is the beauty of being the sole moderator of one's blog, one does not have to endure crap from anonymous trolls. Nor do I have to suffer fools gladly, which leads me to my next soul-sucking, aggravating experience.

On Saturday, I received a comment on the previous post entitled "Bengals and SVU" from a new blogger. I had noticed this person's comments on some of the Vincent D'Onofrio blogs I visit, so I thought this would be nice...a new visitor to get to know. Boy, was I wrong. She began by "trash-talking" my Bengals, which I could understand had I said unkind, nasty things about the Jets and the game that was to be played that afternoon...which I didn't. In fact, if you read the post, I was critical of the Bengals myself...which I'm allowed to do. They're my team, but you don't get to come into my house, bitch, and bad mouth my boys without provocation. Get it? She did go on to say, no hard feelings, but guess what? I've got me some. So, that was strike one. But, hey, no hard feelings, right?

Then she went on to say (copied and pasted from her actual email), "As for L&O -- SVU was the first spinoff by Wolf. Then came CI. Now I love CI (which to me is Vincent & Kate - they made the show) until I die, but I get ticked-off when I hear people say they don't like SVU or the characters - especially Benson or Stabler. I like both characters and actors. I like Chris and Mariska. It not their fault what is happening to CI. They have nothing to do with what the networks are doing to Vincent and Katherine. I wish the fans would understand that; and stop equating what happens with CI has anthing to do with SVU. Please comment-anybody." Strike two. (It should be noted that this person does get full marks for at least using her "name.")

Well, obviously, I didn't "publish" this one either, so people didn't get a chance to comment, but the more I thought about it, the angrier I became. So, I had to get all this out of my system the only way I know how...write about it. But I have one more thing to say before I wrap this up. I made a visit to this person's brand spanking new blog and I came away confused; after castigating me and my visitors for not liking/watching SVU or taking umbrage with NBC for the way LOCI was treated, she has done an about-face and is now questioning the hefty salaries paid to the SVU stars vs. the LOCI stars. Hmm? Shaking my head here; did I miss something? Flip-flop much? And that is strike three.

You know, as much as I love the Internet and all the positive things it has brought into my life, it does have its drawbacks. One of those being the fact that it provides a venue for people to say rude and thoughtless things to others that they -- in all likelihood -- would not have the guts to say in a face to face confrontation.

Needless to say, I have enabled the comment moderation feature. I just cannot stand to be bothered again with trolls and idiots and assholes. (Those emails will be immediately deleted henceforth without being read. I love the delete button.) Now, the last time this happened, I disabled comments for more than a year, and I don't want to do that again because there are a few of you who do drop by now and again and leave comments. That is not to say that I expect everyone to agree with the statements I make. I figure we're all -- well, most of us -- adult enough to state our opinions without attacking each other; i.e., respectfully disagree.

Now, if anyone else is as fed up as I am with something in particular or life in general, don't be afraid to go to your window, fling it open and yell at the top of your lungs, "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!" Go ahead, I dare ya.

YouTube video by conserv8.

10 comments:

Eliza said...

I think the whole point of having your own blog is that you can decide what you like and what you don't like..and if you don't like what someone says you have the final say on whether you leave it or delete it..so more power to your deleting finger!!

I (think) I'm younger than you, but I can't be bothered to go out and socialise much..it gets to around 5-6pm and I'm in for the night, not going anywhere unless I'm forced. I'm content to sit in front of the tv/pc and be boring, thank you very much :-)

I also can't remember the last time I actually went shopping, apart from groceries I do it all online, so much nicer that way.

Bit of a ramble, sorry..not sure I covered all I wanted to, but it'll do for now :-)

Anonymous said...

Trolls; what are they good for?
Absolutely N O T H I N G

ann said...

i think the first comment you talked about is doing the rounds of other blogs too - it's a bit of a scam thing to make you check them out and then you find it really is something else!!!!

it's your blog so you do what you want with it, although not everyone is of one mind so adverse comments are par for the course - i guess sports is one of those subjects that is very open to discussion and opinion

i also notice from other blogs that where vincent/bobby is concerned the claws come out and fur flies should someone dare to disagree - that can be just as entertaining as the post :>)

by all means use the delete button or not publish comments you don't like if it ruins your day

i've turned into a bit of a recluse too - i think it's just 'cos it's so darn cold because when i do go out i actually have a good time and kick myself for being such a lazy cow

fuzzytweetie said...

As the others have said, it's your blog. It's unfortunate that there are those that can hurt us even if it is only cyber space.
I was hurt and, for one day, closed my blog. A little time, saner (than mine) opinions, soul searching and encouragement led me to continue blogging.
Some will think we're nutso but, fuck 'em. We enjoy our blogs and each others. A comraderie exists and a fellowship. We all have our opinions and differences, which means, funny/heated exchanges will happen.
VDOland is a wonderful place. So is the world in general. Don't let the bastards get you down.
Trolls are...........well, we each have our opinion there (and a few choice words).
Thank the cyber gods for the delete button. And, for cyber friends!

sixtwosue said...

Oh my goodness, at first I thought I had annoyed you with the Jets/Bengals talk. But then I breathed a sigh of relief. Anyway, those sports bar guys sound like mean drunks. Too bad a certain former bouncer we all love wasn't around to put a size 13 shoe on their behinds and show them the door. Anyway, to quote Kris Kristofferson, "Don't let the bastards get you down."

Music Wench said...

Sometimes I think people just have no lives and nothing better to do than bother people. This troll just needs to to get a life.
Good move on moderating comments. I have always been paranoid about comments, too. But so far only a couple of rude people have shown up. Cowards who don't want to let me know who they really are. lol

Oh well, all we can do is ignore them and let be be miserable by themselves.

And I did scream 'I hate people' in the office the other day. lol It's not as good as yelling "I'm mad as hell..." out the window but quite satisfying. lol

Oh and I've been doing better with the NBC boycott but I'm not into sports right now so it's easy. :-)

And while I feel badly for Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien I'm laughing my butt off at NBC and yet another debacle in programming.

BobbyG said...

Eliza, dear...you are WAY younger than I; I am older than dirt. LOL And the older I get, the meaner I get and less tolerant I am of other people's intolerant behavior. Does that make sense? As for rambling, I am the QUEEN of rambling. Please feel free to say whatever you like in as few or as many words as you like.

Diane, "Say it again, y'all." Good luck on the new job, by the way. I read about your first day...it will only get better for you, I predict.

Ann, sports is another one of those obsessions/passions that consume some people, and I thoroughly understand it. Heck, I embrace it, and while I enthusiastically support my teams, I similarly respect other people's rights to support theirs. The only thing I can't stand is when people get obnoxious about it...for no good reason. (Is there ever a GOOD reason for obnoxious behavior?) That's why I took offense at the comment I received. And, yes, I know that people get riled up when controversial comments are made about VDO/Bobby. As I said, I don't expect people to agree with everything I say. I don't mind if someone posts a comment contrary to something I've written...all I ask is it be done so in a civil way and not confrontational. As for being reclusive, for me it's not just in the winter months and it has been growing for a good long while now. For example, four years ago I went to more than 40 Reds games (baseball), the next 14, the next zero, and this past season, I went to one game. Part of that is because my back and knees bother me a lot, making walking challenging. The other part is...I can't stand dealing with rude and obnoxious people. Unfortunately, I seem to encounter them wherever I go.

Fuzzy, I considered shutting down the blog for a couple of seconds and then I realized I enjoy it too much, and I'm not going to let a couple of butt holes spoil my fun. Like I said, I recognized the poster's name and perhaps she's a perfectly lovely person, but she made a horrible first impression with me, and it's hard to overcome that. The fact that she also came back a day later with another "taunting" comment didn't set well with me either. That sort of inspired the "Mad as Hell" post.

Sixtwosue, No, no, your comment was fine. I love talking sports with mutual fans, and I believe I even told you I root for the Jets...when they're not playing the Bengals. Good luck to the Jets going forward in the playoffs. And, yes, I could have used VDO the bouncer in the sports bar that day...in more ways than one. LOL

Music Wench, where have you been, girlfriend? Good to hear from you. We have 370 borrowers whose loans we service. Most of them are nice and polite, but every now and then we get one who absolutely, positively drives us crazy. Last week, I received an email from one particularly obnoxious borrower that prompted a purely spontaneous -- and LOUD -- scream from me. People ran from all corners of the office to see what was wrong. LOL To say the least, people can be challenging. And, yes, this whole thing with Leno and Conan is interesting. I never understood the logic/reasoning of having Leno on five nights a week. Now, NBC has to scramble to replace five hours of prime time programming. Couldn't happen to a more deserving network. I saw on the Internet this evening that Dick Wolf is proposing a new Law & Order that will be set in LA. It will be LOLA for short. Now, I don't know if that is true, or someone's idea of a joke, but somehow it sounds like a typical bonehead NBC move.

Thanks to everyone for stopping by and for taking the time to comment. I do appreciate and enjoy hearing from y'all.

ann said...

i believe you and i are of a similar age - i've been through a hell of a lot that i wouldn't want to wish on my worst enemy so i think as i've got older i've got more patient - i have this thing about mindless pettiness and prefer looking at the whole picture instead -

i try to avoid getting mad and letting anger get a grip - it's so not worth it because in the end the only person it hurts is yourself - although in truth i'm not sure how i would have reacted to that comment at the bar; probably would have slunk away holding back tears - and that's not healthy either :>(

i'm sorry it's so hard for you to get out, but it makes sense to watch sport from the warmth and comfort of your own home --- so i guess when we meet we won't be out clubbing ;>)

fuzzytweetie said...

I don't know who or what comment got under your skin but, rudeness and being uncivil should not be tolerated ANYWHERE. I would image that if a few gals were switched with the guys and vice versa (in the bar situation), the cops would have been called. I've seen a bunch of women take on guys because of an insult and Holy Hell broke loose. Happily, the guys were hauled off!

I think rudeness is growing because people put up with it. And, I think it all starts at home.

Philosophy, Dr. Phuzzy, PHD

jazzy said...

Sometimes it is SUCH a release to say "F-ck you"!
Glad to see you decided to keep on blogging, BobbyG. Never give up something you enjoy.