Just Shoot Me

After two and a half weeks of non-stop work and putting in lots of overtime, I finally got to come home at the normal time tonight. I should be elated or...at the very least...happy. Instead, I'm miserable.

You see, last Friday I went home for the weekend. My family sets aside the second Saturday in December to have our Christmas get-together, so this has been on the calendar since last year's family gathering. I could have enjoyed it much more had I not just come off of two incredibly busy weeks at work. Oh, well. Such is life.

So, I checked into the hotel Friday evening and as I was making my way back to my car, my left knee literally "folded" under me. Luckily, I was near the car, so I grabbed onto it to keep from going down onto the pavement. The long and the short of it is...I'm back to walking like a peg-legged pirate. Where is Captain Jack Sparrow when you need him, I ask you? The knee will bend when I sit or am in bed. I can even fold it underneath me when I sit on the couch. It refuses to bend, however, when I walk.

Then, Monday evening I started to notice my throat hurt when I swallowed. That turned into chills and...ahem...numerous bathroom breaks. And all that has evolved into a nasty head cold. I can barely breathe, my eyes are watery, my nose is drippy, and oh joy of joys...the coughing has started. To add insult to injury, I sound like a big ol' bullfrog when I talk. Kelly has had great fun with that.

In fact, I told Kelly there was only ONE thing that could possibly make me feel better. You guessed it. Well, part of it, I bet. I told Kelly the only thing that could make me feel better would be if Bobby showed up to rub a big glob of Vicks VapoRub on my chest. Now there’s a mental image for ya. I’d like to say just the thought makes me feel better, but it doesn’t. It does, however, make me smile.

He could look something like this...

Or this...

Or perhaps this...

Or even this...

Heck, I don't care what he looks like...just show up...big guy. Val, I'm pretty sure I snagged these from you somewhere along the way, so many, many thanks.

Black T-Shirt of Hotness

Okay, first...I apologize if I "outbid" any Vincent Vixen for the following item, but I just "had to have" a BTOH for my very own. I plan on sleeping with it tonight...well...many nights to come. In lieu of the "real thing," a girl will do what she has to do to get by...ya know?

Take heart, there is another BTOH listed on eBay right now. The seller states it is the last one they have and the bid at the moment is $175. This one...like the one I bought...states the shirt is from VDO's very own "working wardrobe." The one I have is a size 2XL-Tall. The name "Goren" is printed in blue ink on the label with a number 2 circled beside his name.

That's all I've got to report except to say that I believe I may have bought myself one really expensive pillowcase. 'Tis an early Christmas present and my "reward" for surviving the SBA Audit.

"Untethered" Unleashed

Watched it...spent two hours capping it and another forty-five minutes uploading photos to Blogger. I am presently watching it again on the USA repeat. I won't divulge any of the storyline for anyone who may not have seen the episode yet. Only going to say...for me...this is the best work I've seen from VDO on LOCI, and he is always GREAT!!! Lots of "stuff" going on in this epi. Stuff that they can carry forward into future episodes...if the writers ever end their strike. Bet the message boards are humming about this one.

It's 2:00a.m. and I'm going to bed. Enjoy!

I Survived!!

Well, the long awaited, much anticipated, big, bad, nasty, "mothah" of an SBA program review audit is officially...over. Yeah!!! We came through in great shape. Out of about a gazillion exhibits and items we are supposed to document, they found only three areas they considered to be "deficient." All three are easily fixable and I’ve already taken steps to do just that.

My boss, who seldom hands out compliments, told me today how much he appreciated all I had done and actually said they could not have gotten through the audit without me. That made me feel good. Like I said, he’s not one to express gratitude for one doing one’s job…which is what I was doing…what I’m paid to do.

The auditors themselves were actually quite friendly. They did not come through the door with the attitude that they were there to pick us apart, looking specifically for things we were doing incorrectly. There were four of them…and one of me. They would each review a file…they had picked 30 out of our portfolio of 355 to review…then bring it to my office for me to “cure.” Basically, if there was an item missing or “unacceptable,” they noted it on a form, and my job was to either locate the item or make an argument as to why SBA should accept the exhibit item as presented. I won some...I lost some.

My office looked like a file cabinet had exploded…files everywhere. I have a great staff, however, and they helped me as much as they could, but after three interminable days of answering the same "deficiencies" over and over, I was happy to see the auditors walk out the door. This was the first time…in 25 years…that SBA had conducted this type of in-depth review of the agency’s files, so – all things considered – we did good. It was a great learning experience and next time...well...next time, I'll be ready for 'em.

The auditors went on and on…I mean they raved about how well organized our files were. One guy even said it was a pleasure to review them, so I’m thinkin’ this dude needs to get a life. I’m taking credit for the condition of our files and all I have to say about that is...sometimes being anally obsessive compulsive is a good thing.

By way of celebration, Dave invited the entire office out for a drink after work this evening. I’ve just started my 11th year here, and this is the first time that has happened.

So, after two weeks of being SBA’s “audit bitch,” I can return to my regular work life. But after putting in 57 hours last week and 43 hours through today this week, Dave gave me tomorrow off…with pay…and I don’t have to count it against my vacation or personal time. Sometimes Dave can be a good egg.

Now, I’m just sitting around, writing this for my blog, and putting in my time until 10:00p.m. rolls around and I can watch my Bobby-boy go all “Untethered.” This is my reward for a job well-done...a visit with Bobby. (I wish.) Anyway, I’m just hoping I can stay awake…‘cuz that adrenaline-rush I’ve been living on the past two weeks is fading fast.

Stuff Men Can't Do

I forwarded a copy of my “tale of woe” about the whole tire fiasco to several friends, and Cathy, who I’ve been friends with since 8th grade, replied with the following anecdote:

“I remember one day at the drug store, I saw a young man standing in front of the sanitary pad shelf...a note from his wife in hand. He was looking totally confused. I offered to help...looked at the note...and reached right for the ones she had requested. He thanked me and I told him…no problem. Most women don't know what kind of oil to put in their cars, so we're even.”

On a related note, the “check engine” light came on again today. Perhaps I’ll just do us all a favor and blow my brains out now. That sure sounds more appealing than another trip to the garage.