It Figures

A couple of weeks back, Music Wench provided a link to the Hello Quizzy website for anyone who wanted to take a quiz that would determine what director would film their life story.

Well, I thought it might be fun to participate in this little quiz, so I took myself off to the website straightaway and proceeded to answer their questions. I could tell right off that I was in "trouble." I mean, I grew up in a small town, I made good grades, no sweethearts under the age of 12, I suffered no "serious trauma" (thank God) as a child, never been heroic, I've never been chased by the police...although there is a certain detective I would willingly let catch and "frisk" me if given half a chance, but I digress...I've never committed a serious crime, I live alone. You get the picture...I'm dull as dirt.

Anyway, I guess it should have come as no great surprise to me when the quiz results revealed that Edward D. Wood, Jr. would be the perfect director to tell the story of my ho-hum, humdrum life. Here is what Quizzy has to say about that:

Your result for The Director Who Films Your Life Test...

Edward D. Wood, Jr.

"Your film will be 48% romantic, 22% comedy, 24% complex plot, and a $ 25 million budget.

Ed Wood will get your film done waaaaay under budget, and will likely make it into a classic film of all time -- for all the wrong reasons. Let's face it, your life isn't terribly exciting to begin with, and it needs some camping up. His resume includes classics such as Plan Nine From Outer Space and Glen or Glenda? He's not afraid to tackle controversial topics, and may insist on portraying a transvestite in your film -- even if you've never seen a transvestite before. He was immortalized in the Academy Award winning Tim Burton film, Ed Wood -- go see it."

Take The Director Who Films Your Life Test at HelloQuizzy

I happened to have "Ed Wood" on loan from Netflix at the time, so I watched it...mainly to see the "roughly" 60 seconds worth of screen time that Vincent D'Onofrio was allotted portraying Orson Welles. He was great...even though the director possessed the unmitigated gall to dub his beautiful voice...the movie was so-so, although Johnny Depp was pretty entertaining in the lead role. As the movie ended, there was a notice stating that several years following his death, Ed Wood was voted "The Worst Director of All Time."

Yep, that's the story of my life, folks, and it gets to be told by the worst director...not just of the year, or the decade, or the century, or even the millennium...but OF ALL TIME. Sounds about right.